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Saturday 1 March 2014

The Valiant Princess !

                                

I woke up today hoping it would be just another lousy Sunday. Then the show, "Satyameva Jayate" happened. I've been waiting for some inspiration to write something meaningful. I finally found it.
            
There are many women in this country who are victims of sexual harassment everyday and are threatened to death, if they ever come forward with their story. I see college guys, who consider themselves to be studs if they hang out with two or three women. I have seen middle aged men who still stare obscenely. I have seen old men still plunging out evil. Not just psychopath strangers, even men among some families talk cheap and heinous things to girls who are half their age. There are men who forget the woman's age and pull them to bed when drunk. When a 94 year old woman can be raped, a 5 year old tiny tot being raped isn't big news either.

In the name of religion, some people have visions and they prohibit their son from hanging out with a girl because "GOD" came in a dream and told them that this girl is "Evil, like a snake." Another religion believes in killing the girl child and offering her as a sacrifice to "GOD." Few parents walk upto every church, temple and mosque. They pray and offer everything at hand, because "GOD" will bless them with a boy  instead of a girl. Even "GOD" isn't spared in this terrible world. Sad, isn't it ?

Today I consider myself unfortunate for being a part of this world, where monsters like you rapists were ever given oxygen. How easy it must have been for you, while running your awry fingers and committing a heinous crime.

When a girl smiles at you, you start building a castle. When she hugs you, you start imagining to sleep with her in that castle. When she refuses to give into your wants, you rape her in that very own castle. Then suppress her cries inside the walls stained with her blood. And you walk with your head in pride. Your crime will remain unnoticed. You will remain unpunished.


A woman is sane in her ways and would never have thoughts of harming you, unless you come onto her. She is a born princess. She dresses up only for herself, but not for you to howl like a wolf on seeing her. She smiles at you, only because she is polite. She hugs you only to tell yo that you are a dear friend. She will love because she thinks you are worthy enough. She will live with you till the last minute even when she knows you are a beast. If she ever walked away from you, it is only because she cannot keep you happy. Be grateful that she let you off the hook instead of pouring acid on her face or burning her alive.


Use your ROTTEN brains. Be a huMAN. Use your guts to save HER, but DO NOT use it ON HER. Look into her eyes, not at her CHEST. Love her, not her BODY. Live but do not KILL. Applaud for her but do not ABUSE her. Comfort her but DO NOT RAPE her. Treat her like a VALIANT PRINCESS. 







Sunday 23 February 2014

Here's to those crappy bus rides.


India is a vastly populated country. Repeat after me. India is such a ridiculously populated country. I did not even imagine for a second back in school, that this statement would really make-me-want-to-pull-my-hair-out and for the love of Christ, yell for mercy. Strange, how certain things come to bite you back in the   , well I wouldn't want to complete that inappropriate sentence.

I take the bus to reach my office which is located in the outskirts of the city. *sigh* Everyday, standing right in the middle of the bus, among the sweaty crowd, I have an epiphany and then, my office suddenly turns into this Disneyland with my boss holding the lil' fairy wand. Ugh. NO. *brain falls out of its socket* *needs psych help* *faints*

So, here's my take on the experiences you will definitely have if you ever travel by an RTC bus.

1. Creepy and grave men.
Why, oh why ?! Why do some men act so nymphomaniacal ? Calm down, seriously. I swear they resemble  Jessica Rabbit with her eyes popping out. I feel I really need to wear the sign KEEP YOUR BUSINESS IN YOUR PANTS OR YOUR LEGS ARE COMING OFF FOREVER !

2. Frenzy women.
To add to the misery, there are always some deranged women in the buses who do such scatty things to get a place in the bus. Like some roguish men aren't enough to creep you out already ! Firstly, they throw their belongings through the window to hold a place in the bus. What all do they throw in you ask ?

A handkerchief.
A bag.
Bottles.
Pashminas.
Vile of them all, their kids too.


Also they run if they spot an empty place. So fast. I swear they will give all the athelets a run for their money. Don't underestimate the power of a comman woman I say !


3. Conductor.
I hardly had any nightmares with women conductors so I might come across as a feminist here. So, the conductor, he is the man all guys look upto. *Jai Ho* *SLOW-CLAP*
If the bus is crowded, this guy will have the time of his life. Squeeze into the crowd, push all the women, nudge half of them for tickets. Sounds fun right? Okay, I want to use the Gangsta accent here, HELLS NO!


4. Driver.
I shall reveal the oath he takes every morning. I shall be rude. I will expect you to jump off a running bus with ease and board it back with finesse. I will drive like I don't give a darn to a rat's back. I will yell my lungs out if you ask me to stop at your convenience. I will keep chewing sickening red crap all day and scare the pants off people who look at my teeth directly.



5. Brakes.
 Oh ! The horror. I remember this particular incident where I was standing in the bus and I had to take a call. While I was busy on the phone, the driver being the darling like always, hit the brake so hard that I fell into a woman's lap. And there was laughter. *covers face and turns red*


So, if you're traveling in an RTC bus, make sure you wear super strong boots to hold your weight or you can always glue yourself to the bus.
 

That's it people. You've been warned, so be careful with the maniacs out there. *takes a bow*




Sunday 22 December 2013

A Fresh Start !


“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” ― C. JoyBell C.

Another year is coming to an end. This year went swooshing by, as though every moment had something  more important to do. Some of us might be feeling helpless and overwhelmed by the end, while some would be exhilarated to welcome the new beginning. Sadly, for some, it might be just another day. Sometimes I wonder, is New Years really that important? or, do we augment it's importance in the desperate need of finding a cause to celebrate life ?

What does New Years say to us ? Resolutions, scrapping old furniture, new clothes, new friends, new work place, most of all, a fresh START. So, does this fresh start come so effortlessly to us  ? Is it that easy to let it all go and never look back ? Well, we all would have disparate answers to such questions. It has never been a cakewalk to anyone, but it all comes to down to one thing at the end, did you SURVIVE?

How do we acquire this much needed beginning ? Do you wait for all of it to fall in place ? Do you commit to your today and not worry for the future ? Do you refrain from breaking down ? Sometimes yes ! Sometimes no ! Also, like they say, leave it onto time. Time heals, time tells, time reveals. Those are clichés, you might say. Only such clichés keep life going and most of them are believed to be true.

The most alluring part about New Year would be about pulling yourself together for a new start and holding onto life with a grappling hook, no matter how painful it has been to deal with things that have gone off the rails in your dreadful past. It all comes to light when you experience an epiphany, don't you think so?

Let's raise the bar with the coming year. Love a little more, hold on a little longer. Few tears, few smiles. Something painful, something beautiful. A dark room, a ray of hope. A broken relationship, a new shoulder to lean on. You fall, you stand up. You fail, you win. Fading dusk, shimmering dawn. Pensive you, Intrepid you. Love, hate. An exuberant journey awaits you.



Saturday 26 October 2013

The Idiot Box !

               
Remember the times when you walk into your house and find all the ladies of the house glued to the television? It's like our mothers don't exist in this world anymore and until its midnight, they refuse to depart from the screen. *Statutory Warning: DO NOT WAKE THE MOTHERS WHILE WATCHING TELEVISION.*


Seriously, what's the deal with you guys? Why this kolaveri di for us I ask ?!


TV stars are earning big bucks these days with the rising value of the industry. Who increases the TRP for all their shows and furnish their apartments by the beachside ? Our susceptible MOTHERS ! Oh ! What an overweening moment !

I tried to understand the (black)magic of this tiny world, which left me perplexed. So, here are my pearls of wisdom.

The saas-bahu edge-of-the-seat drama!
Have you ever experienced something so bad that tears open all the neurons in your head ? If you haven't, then all the daily soaps are here to dwell you in the psychotic drama. Also, they charge you for the cable ! Hey, don't blame them, it is an art to make people throw up incessantly ! Oh ! The saas and bahu rewind-and-repeat-sequence of the slaps with the nerve-wracking background score, the extra marital affairs and their debauched lives. Lord, save us !


The walking dead !

Do I need to explain this ? No, I'm not talking about vampires and zombies. As eerie as it sounds for us unconventional ones, the uncanny daily soap guys find this very silly. Hello ! Stop judging, their dead ones emerge effortlessly from the graves and this stunt requires no thunderstorms or witches. Sometimes, they even get an insane plastic surgery done with no signs of PTSD. Yes, they are that nonchalant. I told ya, they're not from this planet.

The blessed ones !
All the daily soap ladies have an astounding gift. And what is that ? They can wake up from sleep, cook, play politics, stab each others back but ! Not a strand of their hair will get messed up, their lip gloss never dries out, they wear expensive jewellery even while cooking(they never get robbed too) and their sarees never get crumbled even while getting straight out of bed. WOW ! I'm seriously feeling insecure and covetous. o.0


The reality shows !
I'll just say one thing about this, all ogres at one place, left open to pry on each other. So, I'll leave it you for
the imagination.


Before I wrap it up, a lil' something for all the CID fans because CID is always LEGEN-wait for daya to bang open the door-DARY :D









Thursday 24 October 2013

SMART-phone is the new SEXY !


Gone are those times when you had to wait till dawn and walk to the telephone booth, stand in long queues to make a phone call. From the time of birds carrying messages to the time of twitter, we have come a long way. I mean, how cool is that ? Parents are literally dragging their kids to school. Nah! Not because they do not want to be at school, they just want parents to authorize for the phone to tag along.


Let's look at the magic beans smartphones have spilled in our life !

A smartphone makes your mother and father more smart ! Oh, the horror !
Do you remember those days when parents never even knew how to text and now, they're all over social networks ! How many of us flip out at their add requests, change display pictures and lock your phones ?
The last thing I want is for my mother to subscribe to my updates. Hell NO !


A smartphone saves you from SWAG, YOLO crap ! Voila !
We know, you want to walk in to a crowd looking all cool and bursting with attitude. Stop right there. Please save us all from the glittery crap smeared all over your body and grab a smartphone already ! Hey that ryhmed ! Anyway, using words like SWAG, YOLO, CRAY-CRAY, MERKED and other nonsensical words is NOT COOL. What's cool ? Your smartphone !

A smartphone will want to you to get hooked to anything that owns a DSLR !
Mirror, mirror on the wall, Which picture is more sexy on my FACEBOOK wall ! Like I read somewhere, insert rich brat name* photography. Everywhere! Argh ! People, leave it for the professional photographers to have that entitlement. Why do you social birds have to poke your nose in everything ?Every girl finds a photographer hot these ays. Ugh !  Making memories ? I cannot fathom that anymore.






A smartphone can rip of any relationship to pieces and shove the ashes in your face !

One simple statement to justify to this, the "last seen at" feature of whatsapp. I actually knew a couple who called it off because of this madness. If whatsapp is already ruining lives, Facebook, twitter and all other birds had to eat away the last piece of cake too.



I have ranted enough. I'll shut up now, so all you social birdies out there, have a SEXY day ;)

Saturday 24 August 2013

In her Memories !


Over the years, I built an illusion for myself. A figment of an imaginary world, where I had this mirage of her being alive there. I could feel her presence, I could see her smile, which dazzles me like always. Sure, it is just a fallacy of my life. But this apparition made me happy. I wanted to just close my eyes and stay there forever, because if I woke up, she vanished. I do not know if this sounds eerie to normal people, but this illusion has now become a part of my life, which keeps me alive.

I tried in numerous ways to relinquish my life. The desire of not wanting to wake up to another day without her was so desolating, but yet again fate didn't let me have my will. I always found it preposterous when people embraced suicide over living a challenging life. Cowards, I thought. Ironically, I now feel, giving up my life is a far kinder alternative than to die every day without the presence of your treasured one. I do know that, in the course of life, people come and go. But she wasn't a part of the ordinary bunch for me. She was an archangel who walked into the darkness of my life. Every man who ever loved a woman would say the same, but not every man is unfortunate to watch his precious one evanescence to another world leaving behind a shattered heart. I know nothing about moving on in life and I chose not to ever know about it. I often get perplexed, when people preach me about the same. I really wonder, how can you learn to ignore a part of your life and pretend it never existed ?

While I was lost, exasperating on the doom of my life, sitting at my front porch, the vehicles by the road brought me back to reality with their loud noises. It was then, I began to recollect how it all happened. I was returning back home, excited and anxious. Seated in my cab, I was envisaging on how I should be responding when she tells me the much awaited news with glittering eyes. I was so elated because we were trying to have a baby for sometime now. Recently, when my precious felt sick, we both anticipated that it was finally happening and we got some tests done in that regard. The reports were due that day.

My cab halted at the gate. I didn't find her running to me and embracing me, like she does every time. I started to realize that something went wrong. As I walked further towards the house, I noticed her seated at the porch, with a traumatic look on her face. Seeing me arrive, she stood up on her staggering feet and fell on my shoulder. She wept, I do not remember for how long she did that. When I asked her the reason, she placed a file, with the hospital's name on it. I opened it and tried to understand the situation, but there were many terms on it, which were totally unfamiliar to me. She noticed the confusion on my face. She took my face into her hands and said, "Honey, they say I'm dying. Doctor sat me down today and explained me about my condition. She said I'm suffering from cervical cancer and that I've reached the chronic stage." And she broke down again. I screamed saying that this was all not true and there must have been a mistake. Everything around me went blur and my world came crashing down to me. Like a man who's world has been ripped apart, I felt my life going out of my hands.

I took her to every hospital, begged every doctor to do some magic and cure her. I knelt down in front of my Lord and wept.I burnt many candles. I spent every penny I ever earned. I always put on a braveface infront of her, but every inch of me was getting wrecked inside. She got worse with each passing day. It was killing me to watch her in pain while they were piercing needles into her fragile body. Despite the pain, she smiled telling me she would return home soon and make me my favorite sphagetti with her hands. How dearly she loved me ! Days passed with me struggling with my trips to the hospital, just to watch her fight with her life, like a hero. Before I could forfeit my fate, she was gone.

My life never got back on the wheels after that day. Even today, all my folks advice me to get medical help. I feel pity for them when they call my love for her a disease. Yes, may be it is and I never want to be cured from it. I wait everyday for her to come and take me away, wherever she is. May be it wont happen anytime soon but I'm sure I will reach her one day. Until then, I will live in her memories.

***********************************************

This is the story of every man who lost his love. A man, may not be intense and deep like a woman, but when he truly loves, there can never be an uncertainity in it. I wrote this article, as a tribute to all the fighters out there. All I ask everyone reading this article is, please take some time off your busy life. Shut down the social media for a while and visit a cancer hospital. Help the true warriors out there. Motivate them. Love them. Spread some light in their fading lives. Make them feel beautiful again. Remember them in your prayers always. Also, educate yourself and your folks about the various causes of cancer. Like it is said, prevention is better than cure, isn't it ? So let's not lose more precious ones. Hold your beloved today and tell them, Hey, I Love you and I'm glad to have you in my life. God Bless !







Friday 2 August 2013

H.U.M.A.N.I.T.Y

Okay so what's up with the world these days ? I'm unable to figure out if it is just me or things have been pretty bad around us for long now ! I get petrified walking through the streets these days. I'm beginning to wonder if humans these days are being born without a heart in that bony cage. For once, writing a title for my blog made me feel, no matter how hard you scream out about it, it will never be heard ! But then, I realized, Hey ! my Lord didn't place me on this planet without the so-called "HEART". So, here I am, blurting out words, about the most debated, yet ignored topic in this world-HUMANITY.

This topic didn't just come out of boredom or a need to kill time. It came out of my encounters with some devastating sights in the recent times. If people consider me as a fool, trying to be an activist screaming in the megaphone for justice, I'll say, Hell yeah ! I am an activist ! For humans ! Their rights ! I'm not trying to be a God Mother for the needy here. But dude ? How can you just walk past a beggar dying by the side of the road or slap your own child while getting drunk like a loser ?
I wanted to raise my voice, loud and clear enough for all the zealots and fiends out there. So, yeah, listen up !

1. If you find someone begging at the signal, don't you dare show crazy attitude. If you can't help them, okay just sit in your AC car and drive away. It'l save you some respect ! Don't crib about them not getting a job, go and help them get one. if you can't then, hello ! zip it ! They don't need your expert opinion !

2. If some aged person or a lil' child is shivering by the road in rain, help them. If you can't give money, give them something to cover themselves. If you're cold enough to ignore it, then yeah good luck. I pity your soul-less body.

3. If a girl just stands in the bus-stop, stop that heinous act of undressing her with your eyes. Before you even start fantasizing about her, imagine this ! Some random guy doing the same thing in your own house to someone related to you. I know, I sound extremely cold, but I just don't care, how it sounds. I experienced this myself and it is the worst feeling in the world to be stared at inappropriate places. Get a life you dogs out there !

4. If you have a penis, keep it to yourself dude ! Don't you dare point it at a woman ! Don't you bloody dare getting your desire fulfilled unwillingly. Shame on your existence in this world. You disgusting piece of $@#!%^* ! I wish I could just shoot such men down point blank. And yes ! Women too. If you do the same to a man, well, I have nothing else to say. Being a woman, you need to have that patience and that effing sense never to abuse someone physically. Good luck lady, living a life in hell.


5. This goes out to all the sexists. Before you start discriminating, just remember one thing, before you say man/woman, boy/girl, you are a human being. There is no greater creation of Lord than that. You really should consult a Doctor and get some medicine to cure you of that illness. Although, I doubt if there is a medicine to treat A!#$#%$%^$

6. And now its the turn of the nerds ! You weirdos ! You guys think this world just runs on the wheels of your knowledge ! So, I'd like to hit you guys with a bloody hammer, make you bleed and tell you clear enough-- Nobody is born dumb. If someone is slow at understanding things or concepts or whatever ! he/she isn't dumb. Hell no-one has given you a right to judge somebody like that ! You can never treat a human in that manner and make them suffer, just because you're understanding something and they do not. I do not need to say, all the so-called-great people, well,they weren't nothing like you. So, yeah, we dumb people will walk the red carpet and you stay back in the crowd staring in awe !

7. This goes out to all the girls. You porcelain fragile beauties, nobody is going to give you an award for collecting so many clothes. While you open your overflowing awesone wadrobe everyday and stare at its beauty, there are many lil' girls who suffer each day by the road. If you are a woman, I mean for real, move your ass from the mirror and help a kid. Make her feel beautiful.

8. If a poor animal is hurt by the road, please help. Imagine if you're lying in a pool of blood and nobody helps you ? Scary isn't it ? Even after me painting such a real picture and it doesn't affect you ? Well, I so wish that picture comes true.

I'm done with the reality check now. Well, this isn't written to abuse someone or hurt anybody. I don't know to how many people I can reach out to, or to how many hearts this blog is going to talk to. But yes, I'm brave enough to take a step. I will keep shouting all my life. Like it is always said, even if it touches a single person, i'll be truly glad.

So, people, for a while take a pause from that twitter, facebook nonsense and do something noble. Not for anybody else, for your own self. Because you are a HUMAN. Stay kind. Spread love. Be brave. Feed some empty stomachs. Stand up for a human today !